Precisely two years ago today, 2nd of July 2019, I had my ‘Orchie’ – my maleness mutilated by the surgeon’s knife.

It remains the best day of my life.

My story on this website describes the day, saying:

On waking up in recovery after my surgery, I heard the most beautiful words from a nurse. She said, “You have fantastic skin and an amazing figure; now you can be the woman you want to be”.

I could barely talk, but I asked her what her name was, and she replied, “Heather”.

A few weeks later, I sent her a ‘Thank You’ card – and it read: I do not remember your face or even the colour of your hair, but I will never ever forget those wonderful words you spoke to me on the 2nd of July 2019.

Thank you.

Steph. xx

 

A week ago, I returned to the same small hospital – for sure, I have revisited the hospital several times since my surgery, and everyone called me “Steph.” Everyone that is, including the chatty receptionist.

Yes, they know me – they know I like to be called just “Steph” – I believe they are all trans allies and do you know what?

Whatever the newspapers or gender crits say about my community, just by being open with people, being polite, kind and thankful – people will remember a trans person if we create a good impression.

We then create an ally.

Best of all, there is nothing any of our opponents can do about it.

Now I know some of us live ‘in stealth’ and I fully understand that you do not want to advertise you are trans – but to those people who do know you are trans, just by being nice to them and having decent manners sending the odd “Thank You” card – you will create a trans ally,

So a couple of days ago, thanks to FunkyPigeon.com, I sent another “Thank You” card to my hospital that gave me a better life, and I am sure it will display in a staff room along with any others they receive.

The cost?

£4.14 –  including postage.

And I honestly believe it is that easy to create allies, just by being kind and polite, and I am not the only person to say this, Abigail Thorn in her coming out video said exactly the same.

And our opponents? 

Let them throw stones if they wish – I want no part of it. 

We should – no must – make trans allies.

Everywhere.

 

Authored by Steph @PlaceSteph

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Steph Richards (she/her) is a 74-year-old human rights activist, intersectional feminist, and recipient of a 2023 Inspirational Women of Portsmouth Award. Holding a Gender Recognition Certificate and "post op", she is the founder and Chair of Translucent.Org.UK, which was named LGBT Organisation of the Year at the 2022 National Diversity Awards. Steph was also shortlisted as a Positive Role Model for Gender at the 2025 National Diversity Awards. Steph’s leadership spans political, healthcare, and community advocacy. She served as the Women’s and LGBT Officer for the Portsmouth Labour Party (2021–2024), co-founded the Women’s Action Network (Portsmouth), and is a former CEO of a women’s health charity. A passionate champion for women's healthcare, she possesses extensive expertise in baby loss awareness, actively defends UK abortion rights and is a member of "Women Against the Far-Right". Calling out VAWG, Steph has researched and written about 125 women and girls killed by a man. A prominent voice in national media and debate, Steph has been featured live on BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour, Anti Social, Good Morning Britain, Times Radio, LBC, GB News, and Channel 4 News. In 2023, she debated trans human rights alongside Harvard biologist Dr. Carole Hooven at a prominent US university event.

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