Very recently, I asked the trans community this question via a Twitter poll:

Before you admitted to yourself you were trans – did you try and “man -up.”

81 people replied, and the options and results were as follows:

 

I joined the military….17%
I did a tough manual job …16%
I did an everyday job….57%
I did a “feminine” job…10%

 

I asked because I was aware that lots of trans women do genuinely try and stay men.

I have a gender-crit follower who insists that trans women are unfair to their partners “because they knew they were trans before they got married.”

He insists trans widows are victims and that trans women are, in essence, ‘dirty scoundrels.’

This statement is, of course, quite understandable when you dont suffer from gender dysphoria – cis people!

Many of us think we can “beat it” – beat being trans – but the truth is that in the vast majority of cases, that is not possible!

So looking at the stats, one thing becomes clear. 17% of the 81 respondents joined the military. That is a massive figure for these reasons.

In the UK today, there are about 67.88 million people. 12.62 million are kids – that leaves 55.26 million adults; of these, 28 million are employed.

The size of the UK armed forces, and I include reservists here, is 241,140 and as a percentage of working adults is 0.86%.

Yes – under one per cent of the working population is in the armed forces, yet 17% of trans folk (overwhelmingly male assigned) joined the military – trans women do indeed try and stay ‘cis’ – to prove to ourselves we were men.  Indeed in my own story on this website, I use these words:

While I was exceedingly lucky in being able to handle my dysphoria for most of my life, most trans people simply cannot. In my case, I was able to tell myself I was ‘special’ and that being able to be a man or a woman was a gift. But eventually, even this mindset is broken.

Being trans becomes all-consuming – an ever-pressing, natural obsession with becoming your true self eventually explodes to the surface. 

And we can add to the fact that 17% were in the armed forces.

A further 16% of trans people did a tough manual job – they tried to toughen themselves up too!

So ok, this is a little snapshot – but I am told by a colleague who (is in the know) that the Gender Identity Clinic in Exeter sees loads of Royal Marines who are based nearby. 

Yes, those Commandos!

And our own Julie Miller, well she is a classic example of 24 years as an Army Officer before she stopped pretending she was a man.

So dear gender-crits, please dont tar us with the brush that we are cheats – for sure, we knew from an early age something was wrong, but we did NOT act in bad faith – we did our best to ‘man up.’

Truth always wins.

 

Authored by Steph  @PlaceSteph

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Steph Richards (she/her) is a 74-year-old human rights activist, intersectional feminist, and recipient of a 2023 Inspirational Women of Portsmouth Award. Holding a Gender Recognition Certificate and "post op", she is the founder and Chair of Translucent.Org.UK, which was named LGBT Organisation of the Year at the 2022 National Diversity Awards. Steph was also shortlisted as a Positive Role Model for Gender at the 2025 National Diversity Awards. Steph’s leadership spans political, healthcare, and community advocacy. She served as the Women’s and LGBT Officer for the Portsmouth Labour Party (2021–2024), co-founded the Women’s Action Network (Portsmouth), and is a former CEO of a women’s health charity. A passionate champion for women's healthcare, she possesses extensive expertise in baby loss awareness, actively defends UK abortion rights and is a member of "Women Against the Far-Right". Calling out VAWG, Steph has researched and written about 125 women and girls killed by a man. A prominent voice in national media and debate, Steph has been featured live on BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour, Anti Social, Good Morning Britain, Times Radio, LBC, GB News, and Channel 4 News. In 2023, she debated trans human rights alongside Harvard biologist Dr. Carole Hooven at a prominent US university event.

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