So, now I am just moving into the third month of our #EveryThreeDays campaign. It is 6:30 in the morning, and I am researching for the next woman to remember.
I read so many horror stories before writing about each victim, and this morning I literally shouted “fuckin bastards” whilst reading about twelve victims in the Bristol region. With thanks to Bristol Live for calling this out.
I was screaming about men, of course.
But it doesn’t make it any easier for me to write about these women – indeed, I am finding it personally very draining to research #EveryThreeDays – but if it helps just one woman in the future, that for me is very worthwhile.
Now I am no expert, but there is one thing I do want to make very clear. The vast majority of women that I have written about in the past two months; that is twenty women in total so far- almost all of them could have been saved if they and others (especially the Police) had noticed the clear pattern of domestic abuse and violence that they were suffering. Domestic abuse charities and refugees exist for a reason. Around nineteen out of twenty women are murdered by a man the woman knows – often a partner or ex-partner.
And for any woman reading this article, who is getting abused by a man, thinking that it will get better, please think again; I am sure all the dead women I have written about in the past few weeks felt that too.
So nag over – I just wanted to make that point – most women’s deaths can be avoided, and it is abusive men that women know who is the real danger.
Today in our campaign, I am remembering Rosemary Gill.
Rosemary,48, was a mum of two children and described as the ‘light of a party.’ She was married to Nirmal Gill, and her previous husband was Andrew Cooper.
Sadly the relationship between Nirmal and Rosemary started to break down, and in consequence, Rosemary reformed her relationship with her ex. Nirmal suspected he was losing his wife and hired a private investigator to spy on Rosemary; indeed, Rosemary had asked for a divorce.
In due course, the investigators reported to Nirmal that Rosemary was indeed having an affair with Andrew Cooper. Okay – grounds for a divorce. But it takes two people to make a marriage work, but just one partner to break that relationship.
And it really hurts, I know.
I lost my first marriage of 27 years in just four days. I was left with three kids to bring up. But I did not go and beat up my ex with a dumbbell over the head twelve times – which is exactly what Nirmal Gill did.
He then had the audacity to claim that he could not remember taking his wife’s life at his trial.
Nirmal Gill was sentenced to a minimum of seventeen years at Bristol Crown Court, and TheLawPages.com covered the case.
Another woman dead, because of a man’s jealousy and wanton control.
Rosemary Gill 1965 – 2013
Authored by Steph @PlaceSteph