Well, it certainly throws up some surprises sometimes.
For sure, as a trans rights activist and indeed for the gender-critical ones, it is invariably a roundabout of the same regurgitated rhetoric and “debate”.
A debate which, because of conviction, no one makes any progress.
“A man with a conviction is a hard man to change,” wrote the American social psychologist Leon Festinger – and so the Twitter gender war rumbles on with insult being matched with insult, stone matched with a stone and finally brick being matched with the inevitable brick.
There is never debate – just two sides going through performance rather like a game of chess with standard moves that leaves people bruised.
We all get sucked in and often regret what we say.
I am not alone in this thinking. I have the pleasure (perhaps a dubious one) of being invited on to Suzanne Moore’s substack, where, as a lone trans woman, I stick my head above the parapet waving a trans blue, pink and white flag. Suzanne (who has always been fair to me) recently said the same – we (including her) all go too far sometimes.
One dear lady on Suzanne’s substack is a disciple of Blanchard, convinced that every trans woman is an AGP. I am yet to challenge her thinking with the logic that transsexuals and those on HRT dont have the ability – but she has this conviction, and I fear logic has passed her by.
But just occasionally on Twitter, a gold nugget appears from nowhere and sets us thinking, which recently happened to me.
A lady from the “other side” pointed out that as a disabled woman, she has serious problems getting to the loo.
And who could argue?
The trans camp and gender-crits often scrap over which toilet we should be using or not using. ‘Trans women should be using the men’s is the cry’, which then equally translates that trans men (along with their beards) should be using the ladies – yeah, right.
Just how do you tell a trans man from a male sex offender? The whole debate is oh, so crazy!
But what if we cant get to the loo?
What if YOU were disabled?
At least non-disabled people can get to a toilet, but for disabled people, it must be a nightmare. I certainly know locations of public toilets where there are no disabled toilets at all.
And note I have just used the word “disabled.”
This word (according to my writing tool) may be considered outdated, disrespectful or offensive – the word I should be using is “accessible.” Except that the lady who pulled me up on the fact that her disabilities meant she had real issues in getting to a loo wants me to use the word “disabled.”
This is because what is happening is all and sundry now take it that an accessible loo is, well, just a spare unisex loo. In consequence, these loo’s get busy, and they are not left in a decent condition. And being disabled, it is not like these disadvantaged folk have a lot of choices.
In short, disabled people are stuffed.
They cant access able-bodied toilets; there are very few “accessible” toilets, and the lady in question who got my mind thinking told me they are often locked or radar keys dont work.
So next time we able-bodied trans folx have a “debate” on Twitter about toilets, perhaps we should consider that we are, in fact, fortunate to be able to access a loo – some people can’t just walk in and relieve themselves.
When it comes to toilets – there are indeed people much worse off than us.
Authored by Steph @PlaceSteph